I knew I had to suspend disbelief a little bit, to buy into things like that somehow the cheerleaders in the movie were on strike, too. But none of that could save me from a horrible Keanu Reeves, Jon Favreau embarrassing himself, and all the characters being much more like incredibly shallow caricatures, and not even funny ones at that. The whole movie was like that; it followed the classic underdog-sports-movie formula, but was an awful, stereotypical entry into the genre. I was mildly amused by the footballer smoking on the sidelines, but only the first time. Not the ensuing 17 times the joke was used.

Oh, and there was so much awful 90′s fashion. And music. And then IMDB tells me this thing came out in 2000?!? I don’t remember 2000 being this bad.

One of the illustrations by artist Philip Bond in his series of female astronaut portraits (h/t to io9).

But, really, I can see why this is supposedly the one movie guys are allowed to cry during. This film is all about the “Bromance” – it’s not the same relationship seen for decades in buddy comedies, these guys are total (interracial!) BFF’s. You can tell it’s a Bromance when if you imagine one of the dudes is actually a girl, it’d be a prototypical romantic comedy. I especially felt this early on, like in the scene where they are sprinting and Brian teases Gail, saying he was letting him get falsely confident so he could take him down. That was straight-up flirting on Brian’s part, if you ask me.

But, overall, it was a pretty good movie, though it felt awfully short – cause, you know, it was TV movie. The pacing was probably a bit off without those planned commercial breaks, too. It sped through the years really, really quickly, and an extra 15 minutes in the middle could’ve made a world of difference in detailing these two dudes’ relationship. Additionally, I was surprised that I was able to buy Billy Dee Williams as anybody besides Lando Calrissian (or some analog of Lando) – though I was laughably resistant during the opening scene, since I had done no research and didn’t even know he was in the movie, and it caught me off-guard. I’d be hard-pressed to name this one of the top-3 greatest football movies ever (at this point), however, as many have.

*At this rate, I think I’ll get through all the movie on my list for this recurring feature by, oh… 2017?

Now, I’ve been saying all week that with a win over Pittsburgh, Cincinnati would be able to edge TCU (suffering from a bye week) for that coveted spot in the Bowl Championship Series rankings right behind Texas, waiting to overtake them and challenge Alabama for the National Title,  should the Longhorns falter. Sure, Iowa fans might cry foul for losing a potential at-large BCS Bowl bid to Texas or an ACC champion of questionable quality. Undefeated TCU supporters, whose coach is a proclaimed supporter of the BCS system, would claim superiority and conference discrimination until the end of time. But it wasn’t until the Longhorns tempted fate with a single (almost debatable) second remaining in the Big XII Championship game against Nebraska that I realized the ridiculous drama and “doomsday” scenario that very well might’ve played out had the Longhorns lost that game (they won on a field goal kicked after that one second was put back on the clock, following an official review).

Year after year, the BCS keeps happening upon new and inventive “doomsday” scenarios. Computer rankings differ too much from the human polls in 2003. Too many undefeated teams in 2004. Every team that makes it to #2 keeps losing in 2007. Too many one-loss teams in 2008. 2005 was about the only recent year that it worked, and in 2006, Florida and Michigan tied in the computer rankings in the battle to play Ohio State for the title. Well, really, if all computer rankings were taken into account, Florida had a slight edge, but BCS rules drop the highest and lowest rankings when creating the average to make things fair. Annnnyway, it came down to the human pollsters to decide who would end up in second place. Florida ended up ahead by no more than 40 points (out of a couple thousand) in both of the voter polls used by the BCS. Sadly, as pollsters don’t need to explain themselves on the ballots, there’s no way to measure just how much of a factor the possibility the title game could’ve been a rematch between the Big Ten teams played in those voters’ decision to drop Michigan to third.

Fast forward to tonight, with the stability of the BCS system hanging on the accuracy of a 46-yard field goal kick in Arlington, Texas. After top-ranked Florida fell to Alabama and undefeated Cincinnati defeated Pittsburgh in dramatic fashion for the Big East title, the No. 3 Longhorns found themselves down in a surprisingly close Big XII Championship game. After the clock ran down to zero (the first time) and it went under review, and while the game paused for a Nebraska timeout in an attempt to ice the kicker, amidst the flurry of text messages to friends and Kirk Herbstreit basically freaking out at Colt McCoy on national television, I saw the future. And started digging up some numbers to confirm such a future was possible.

Had the clock actually run out or Texas missed that field goal, all hell would’ve broken loose in football-land. Texas would’ve dropped in the rankings, to be sure, but how far? And where would that leave Cincinnati, TCU, and… Florida? Florida and Alabama were tied in the computer rankings going into today’s SEC Championship game, with Cincinnati a fairly distant third, and Texas hot on its trail (TCU in fifth place). Obviously, each computer ranking functions a bit differently than the others, and despite making playing with BCS numbers a hobby, I’m no mathematician. But I’ve got reason to believe that Florida would’ve still managed to squeak by all the others, at least in the computers, to claim that runner-up spot. Basically, left to computers alone, Florida and Alabama would have played each other again in the National Championship game (computer rankings for years haven’t been allowed to factor in the margin of victory – in the case of Florida-Alabama, 19 points – in rating quality of wins).

Yes, even over undefeated TCU and Cincinnati, Florida would’ve stayed on top of all of them. It shouldn’t come as that huge of a surprise, really. You can’t get a better quality loss than to the highest-ranked team other than yourself. And while Cincinnati beat a 15th-ranked Pittsburgh team, Texas would’ve lost to a Nebraska team ranked at only 22. In short, Texas would fall a hell of a lot further than Florida, and Cincinnati’s loss-less record still might not be enough considering the teams Florida has played (however, don’t get me started on how overrated LSU is, was, and always will be). And unfortunately for those underdog mid-major conferences, TCU just wouldn’t have been able to cut it.

Once again, it would’ve been up to those darned humans. Unlike nice, controllable computers, humans have to deal with all those biases and emotions, potential tendencies towards unfairness and corruption, and the ongoing burden of creating “a game America will enjoy”, etc. But this time it’d be even worse – they wouldn’t just be voting in a tiebreaker, they’d have to intentionally vote any or all of those other teams well ahead of Florida to make up for the difference in the computer rankings if they wanted to avoid that dreaded rematch game. Would the Horned Frogs and Bearcats (ok, seriously, these animals are ridiculous) split too many votes and Florida not fall far enough in those polls? How harshly would they punish Florida for the manner in which they lost the SEC Championship? Which Gator would be the first to cry foul and start accusing voters of stuffing the ballots for other teams not based on the season-long performance of the teams, but based instead on how they wanted the bowl games to play out? Who voted for whom and why? Was there money or TV ratings involved? Would Lou Holtz get held for contempt in an ESPN “Final Verdict” segment after accidentally spitting on Mark May?

Unfortunately, Texas won, and none of this will ever come true (but watch to see how far Florida doesn’t fall tomorrow morning in the computers! Yes, I’m calling it!). At least not this year. Maybe next year this doomsday scenario will actually happen and yet another flaw in the BCS system (basically, forcing voters to consider game matchups, not actual rank of the teams’ performances, when assembling polls), and move us one step closer to its none-to-soon demise.

For now, I think I’m gonna start a series of compelling and intrigue-filled novellas about closed-door meetings, dramatic press conferences, and ESPN talking head battles with never-before-reached levels of violence over football rankings. In the controversial last installment, the student athletes realize nobody’s really just watching the games anymore, and they’ll all quit and run off to Canada to simultaneously enroll in Canadian colleges and suit up for their playoff-system-using gridiron teams and also dodge the draft when we go to war with China.

*via SportsCenter, Brad Edwards of ESPN says, as of Saturday night, that he thinks TCU would’ve nabbed that No. 2 spot. I’m guessing that tomorrow’s numbers will prove he was wrong. In fact, I don’t think he’s been very reliable with these predictions this year. I think I’m going to make it a goal of mine to be a better Brad Edwards than Brad Edwards. Doable?

However, when I wrote that original post, I thought Twitter was “less like blogging and more like an instant messaging tool, except you’re broadcasting your messages to everyone.” I’ve since learned that I had it completely backwards.*

Except with a couple of people, I never got around to using Twitter “@” replies or Direct Messages as a viable means of communication. I have all those guys’ cell phone numbers, and they’re much more likely to keep up with their texts than the Twitter DM’s pushed to their iPhones. The vast majority of Twitter accounts of friends that I follow are also linked to their Facebook profiles, and several of my friends who often post great links post exclusively to Facebook. And most of my favorite Twitter accounts are those run by bloggers, news outlets, public figures, and organizations, not people I know personally.

So, my Twitter use ended up being about 2% direct communication with friends, and 98%… blogging. That goes for my Twitter output, as well. Most of my Tweets are designed for mass consumption, providing interesting links or photos, random facts and one-line thoughts and experiences I want to share with people. You know, just much more succinct versions of the exact kind of things one might write in, oh, say, a blog.

Somewhere around the peak of my Twitter use a couple months ago (I tend to post a lot while I travel, and I’ve done a lot of that), I fell victim to one of those horrible trends that are a sign the internet is destroying the universe, etc: I started to encapsulate all my important thoughts into 140-character tidbits. If I couldn’t trim it down enough, it wasn’t worth posting; it would be too long to read for my News Feed-skimming audience. My focus on producing comment-generating Facebook posts (via Twitter, of course) reduced the number of more expansive thoughts and opinions I wanted to write down to about nothing.

In short, Twitter killed my blog.

However, in the spirit of my totally bitchin’ Zombie Song Girl Halloween costume (now, see, wouldn’t that ridiculous process and adventure have made for a great blog post instead of a series of one-liners on Facebook?), I will attempt to make my blog rise from the dead. I will challenge myself to expound on those bite-sized flashes of insight I normally post to Twitter, and see if I can’t generate as much interest in a few paragraphs of writing as I do for 140 characters on Facebook every day. And I’m totally gonna shamelessly self-promote my blog posts over Twitter more often.

*I realized after writing this that I’ve pretty much recited this blog post as a topic of conversation at parties at least twice this year.

Not in Hollywood

Not in Echo Park

Not in Hollywood

Not in Silverlake

Of course, Facebook gives you the option to delete people out once you’re sure you never want to be Facebook friends with them, and it won’t suggest them anymore. However, I’m pretty lazy and don’t do this very often. So I’ll get a few complete strangers who show up on my homepage on a regular basis that I continue to ignore, but have probably glanced at their names enough times that I’ve memorized them. Yesterday I saw one of those regular names, and suddenly, it seemed familiar. And not just because I had seen it suggested to me a dozen times, but it felt like I actually knew the name. Girl who went to the other high school in my home town? Friend of my mom’s? College professor from a class I slept through? No, no, no. I clicked through to see her “limited” profile so I could investigate further. All I had to go on was a first and last name and a geographic network, “Northern Arizona”. This mystery person and I share no mutual friends.

Then it hit me. I don’t even know in which tiny corner of my brain I had saved this name, but I recognized it.

I bought soccer tickets from her. Over Craigslist. Two years ago.

We shared a half-dozen e-mails through my GMail account, and nothing more. We were never communicated through Facebook, or anything else. But somehow Facebook knew. Does Facebook somehow skim my e-mails? Is this some new kind of stalker tool I was unaware of? And if so, why isn’t it better at giving me targeted ads on the side of my profile page?!?*

*Actually, that “I’m On A Boat” t-shirt advertised to me today was pretty rad…

Overall, the movie was only so-so. I didn’t ever believe John Krasinski’s character had a chance in the film’s focal love triangle, and I never bought any of that silly comedy.I think more than anything I was a bit sad the Duluth portrayed in the movie wasn’t more… Duluth-y. How early did this season manage to finish that there was no snow in Duluth or Chicago, really?

The football was also only OK. The final game takes place on a field so muddy that Clooney’s team wins thanks to team jerseys no one can tell apart. Again, it was more about the physical comedy than creating any drama, but did they really let players go out there without a cup even 90 years ago?

Basically, if I wanted some of the fun old-fashioned football jokes in Leatherheads, I could have saved myself a great deal of time and just re-watched this clip from SNL earlier this season: http://www.hulu.com/watch/55596/saturday-night-live-nfl-films

Well, today I caved. I downloaded a Twitter app for my desktop (I’m currently using Tweetdeck because it also sends me Facebook status updates, but the window has to be so large! anybody have other suggestions?). I browsed a couple of coworkers’ “following” lists and found more people I knew and suddenly I’ve got a decent number of people to keep up on and I don’t want to refresh a Firefox page all day now that there’s actually content for me to see. Still not on par with the massive Facebook newsfeed I’ve got to follow, but I can see it getting there someday.

But mostly I decided to finally commit to Twitter because it appears it’s going to be around for quite some time as an internet-use standard. As I use the desktop app I realize it’s become less like blogging and more like an instant messaging tool, except you’re broadcasting your messages to everyone. This feels similar to when everyone got on the AIM and/or MSN bandwagon, eight or nine years ago. Except that there is only one Twitter. I wonder when some crazy, renegade alternative micro-blog network will pop up and cause a battle a la AIM-MSN (though those battle lines were mostly geography-based) or Facebook-MySpace (which drew divides among education and age levels). What will separate Twitter users from the others, and what new must-have internet communication and networking tool will come along in a few years to replace them all?

One of the first things I noticed were all the beautiful scenes shot on location at Syracuse University. It made me totally jealous; there aren’t any movies about Trojan Football! Why can’t somebody make a cinematic love letter to USC?? (oh, wait, that’s what Love and Basketball is for) But those scenes, as well as all the gameplay involving awesome old-fashioned football uniforms (Kansas in baby blue!), made me realize I have yet to experience East Coast football and really, really old sports programs. I think sometime in the relatively near future I’m gonna have to get myself to an Ivy League game or something else involving a rivalry or stadium nearly as old as the sport itself. Hopefully I’ll avoid the crazy, redneck, beer-throwing West Virginia fans portrayed in the movie, who reminded me a lot of… crazy, redneck, beer-throwing Notre Dame fans. Maybe I’ll watch Rudy next week…

It was in the scene right after that West Virginia game that the movie’s main character, Ernie Davis, was shown with a mysterious bloody nose, and then I suddenly remembered how this story ended in real life – Davis died of Leukemia just a year after graduating from Syracuse. But I was brought back to a much happier place shortly thereafter when the Orangemen were offered two different bowl games, and got to decide through (gasp!) a team vote. Oh, how I long for simpler times.

They of course chose to face off against #2-ranked Texas and their superstar player, supposedly the only other team in America that could bring down our heroes, who had been ranked at the top for the entire season.  And then they powered over those jerkoff Longhorns and won the game and the national title outright, and rode off into the sunset, as they rightly should have (what? I’m not projecting or anything).

Well, they did win, but not before enduring something that more resembled hockey, what with all the punches thrown and all. This was because of the three black guys playing for the Orangemen, which didn’t sit so well with all those white people from Texas. Of course the developing civil rights movement was a major theme in this, the movie about the first black man to win the Heisman trophy, but it was maybe even too much to handle, mostly due to Ernie’s totally blatant goal of being a great black athlete and inspiration to all – football’s Jackie Robinson. Not one of those modest, reluctant heroes, oh, no.

But, maybe he was just a man who knew his destiny all too well. He did win that Heisman trophy and get a ton of signing money, got an awesome Forrest Gump-style doctored photo shoot with JFK, and died young to boot – a Hollywood-perfect real-life hero. Come to think of it, why exactly did it take 45 years for this movie to be made?