I feel like I’m violating the spirit of this blog with this post, but the original idea of the blog was to be an eclectic collection of writing from two different people. True to form, I have failed to participate. But, here I am, finally doing my part.
It’s December 13th and it’s sunny outside, but that doesn’t stop people from playing Christmas music – at my coffee shop, at the office, even in the liquor store where I buy my cigarettes. I admit that I too am a sucker for Christmas, even if it is warm outside. I just pull the blinds closed and put on my holiday playlist and feel a little older.
That’s the thing about Christmas. Unlike my birthday, Christmas does actually make me feel a year older. I think that’s why holiday music tends to be a little sad. It’s about a year coming to its end, not about “that baby in the barn,” as my friend Ernie says. However, if you are going to mark the sad passing of time, it’s best to do it with a symbol of peace and forgiveness and sharing. Because it’s also a little happy.
When you’re an adult you tend to focus on Christmases past. The buying of presents and decorating and getting together are done out a need to remember. When you’re a kid there’s not a whole lot of remembering you can do.
So I am a little disappointed to be spending the holiday by myself in Santa Clara. I’m hoping to find a shelter somewhere nearby where I can help serve dinner. But I would rather be in Montana with my family, wearing sweaters and talking and looking at photo slide shows and listening to music and eating snacks and not giving gifts because unlike wealth, economic disaster really does trickle down to the working class.
That’s all right. I do feel a little older, but I am still only 23 and I have a job and a place to stay, and if I need to make one more holiday appearance by telephone, it’s not a big deal. But I hope that we get some cloudy days in before the new year. So I can put on a jacket and go for a chilly walk and pretend that I am home.
